Finally here it is. The D-Day and i am trying to throw all tantrums but deep inside i don't feel a thing. What has changed? Maybe i will have to find out and then post. So Happy '30' bday for me !

‘This is my last post as a 29 year old girl'.... Wanted to start my post saying this but then it felt too dark. If someone would read this, they would assume that I am no longer in this world. So I am going to beat around the bush and rant about me turning 30 tomorrow. So what is the 'big' deal in turning 30 and why are people around me not making it a 'BIGG' deal. While talking to a close acquaintance I was advised to finally 'Grow up' from today. My question is what am I now? Sitting on my couch, I am reminiscing 29 years of my life. So where do I start from -


Born on 31st Oct 1982 after mom suffered 2 days of labour pains, I was born and the family was overjoyed since I was the first child. Naturally and obviously, the most pampered one till my brother arrived 3 years later and the pampering got divided. I had rather have the most normal family and normal childhood which was full of day-dreaming, summer vacations, class tests and getting beaten up by mom once a day. The whole drama started when I entered the forbidden age - Teenage. Tried unsuccessfully to be a rebel but I had some fun in my own way. Bunked college to watch movies at 7 am in a dingy theatre, eating masala puri from a thela, one day trip outside Bangalore with friends without informing parents, creating extra classes out of nowhere, playing cupid for most of my friends, wearing my brothers clothes to college, having crush (es) on all hot seniors (who turned out be duds later), losing friends phew! What a phase. I can say though it was not all hunky dory but most memorable. Though it’s the most clichéd phrase that college years are best, for me it was!


As I entered my 20’s, I tried to act all grown up unsuccessfully again. Started working right after my graduation and meanwhile met my husband (friend then). Took parents for granted and hardly spent any time with family. Met new friends, made new relationships, kick started my career. Late nights parties, night shifts, office politics, re-thinking career path became the most important thing in my life. Naturally like all Indian parents, folks wanted me to settle down. I still thank god that there was no filmy drama when I revealed about my 'good friend'. To be honest I am still surprised that my parents understood and accepted the matter easily. Maybe they had their reservations but I never got to know. Then came the BIG FAT INDIAN WEDDING. This is where life takes a turning.


A new life, new family, new responsibilities on top of it A new city. Maybe I couldn’t digest so many new things so tried to resist as much as possible. In all this I never realized that 29 years of my life had already passed away so soon. Today when I look back, I see a lot of happy n sour moments, mistakes that could have been avoided, to be relationships which could have survived with time, friends who got lost due to lack of my effort to keep in touch, lost family time, guess the list never ends! Can’t I do it now? Of course I can. There would be no earth shaking moment when I turn 30. So while trying to stay optimistic,I would say this is again a new phase of my life which I live without any regrets.


PS - Maybe the only regret I will live is spotting of my 1st grey hair now and I am screaming my lungs out to my mom...

It's one of those days when you feel stuck in a dump and you dont know the reason. What do you do in this case ? If you think i know the answer, then NO. Still searching for it. Watched the idiot box for sometime, read a book, checked FB.. still something is amiss. What is it ? There are times when you seek for answers but do not know what the question is. I don't know how am i going to get through the day with a heavy heart but i have to. No other choice. Will post if i am successful.

After a long hiatus,I decided to open my blog again by glancing through an online shopping site called Shopo.in (http://shopo.in/). Since the theme is ' A Summer Secret ', i started rummaging through all my memories associated with Summer.What is the first thing which strikes as soon as the word 'Summer' is said ? - For some it is hot weather , for boys it means looking at girls in short dresses and for me it means vacations. Let me share a fond memory which i fondly recall now.

Date - March 98

I was in my last year of school and all my friends were preparing for our board exams.We were tensed,excited,nervous and little sad with the thought of our future. Autograph books were exchanged,phone numbers and photographs were given and we made tall promises of keeping in touch till eternity. There was a particular boy whom i am naming as N. He was tall,lanky,silent and brooding types. Though we just said hello at start and end of day, most of the times i used to get paired with him for assignments. N was good at mathematics and science which was a huge pain area for me. On the day of our Science practical exams, I was asked to complete an experiment with H2SO4(sulphuric acid).I tried remembering the steps but was stuck right at the beginning.Images of all possible gods flashed in front of me and i was cursing my fate.As luck would have it,N sneaked into the lab like a knight in shining armour.He slid a small piece of paper and even passed on few tips.Within no time i completed and passed my practicals too.

Its not like we became great friends after this incident but i did ask him why did he take so much of a risk for me? Till date i remember his answer -' Do you remember our fight last year.I felt guilty since then but didn't know how to say sorry.This is my way of saying sorry'. Thanks to N,i passed that dreadful science practicals with decent scores.On the last day of our school,i walked upto him but didn't know what to say.We parted without saying a word but after a few years i met him on a social networking site.

Everytime i see pictures of school graduation day,i remember N - a friend who never had to prove his friendship for me but remains a dear friend till date.
Thankyou Shopo for giving me an excuse to recall this incident -

Guess i couldnt resist posting today since its a leap year and all the radio channels are going ga ga over 20th Feb. Not sure if its special but i just wanted to capture this date

Winter brings in many hidden pleasures.The weather is soothing for a change.One can indulge in all sinful delights.Oct- Dec are my fav months. For a change i can see colleagues in office completely covered :)a stark contrast to their revealing outfits daily.I can really enjoy my cuppa of caffeine everyday without feeling bloated or guilty.Mornings are dewy with light mist,afternoons are breezy best enjoyed with fresh filter coffee and hot pakoras, evenings strolling around lanes and nights indulging in hot chocolate curled up in bed with a nice book.Is it really OTT to say, '' Winters bring out the best in everyone and every thing ''. I don't think so.....

So i am keeping up my promise of updating my blog regularly. Last week has been primarily hectic due to work,social life,personal life UFF ! I don't know how i managed to get past it. Had my friends come over from different states and visit me.A particular incident triggered me to vent it out on my blog. Amongst one group of friends there are 2 people who absolutely hate each other. Both of them cant stand each other and completely ignore when we catch up. However its the rest of the group is getting divided unknowingly. My question to both of them is - Why cant both of you just continue ignoring each other without making it difficult for the rest of the group ?. My loyalties was divided. I know that both of them are right in their own ways.

You do come across so many different people in your life. Can you take all of them seriously?Hell no.. Whats the fun in having similar personality people as your friends. One learns how to be more adaptable,giving and understanding when you meet more people. I wish both of them get the group dynamics right and maintain it well !

Though i was thinking of posting on my trip from a long time, i wanted to do it today just because of the fancy date of 11/11/11. Maybe one day when i am old,i can read my posts and relive this moment.From now onwards i am going to be gloating big time. Goa was beautiful but what was special was my bday. I thought its going to be just another day coz R forgot to wish me in the morning. Me was getting ready to step out and when i came down to the lobby, there was a cake with a lit candle. R with the entire hotel staff sang' Happy Bday song '. I had not celebrated my bday with R like that ever.Second surprise was when we were roaming with P & P in Mumbai - Inorbit Mall, Malad. He gifted me this real cool Casio Sheen watch which just costed around 7 K. I was floored with this but what touched my heart is his want to do things special. After 9 yrs of being together, you do take each other for granted. I just like being loved and being in love.

Atleast this year i have kept up my resolution and tried to blog as much as possible.I see people who post almost everyday and think ' How do they find time '. This post is special because it marks the end of my married/single life.RT is finally moving into a new work time which gives us to live like normal human beings.I have actually forgotten what is like to wake up at 5 am ! I was known to be a early riser and during exams, i used to only remember what i have studied in the morning.Now its exactly opposite.I go to sleep only when half the world is already in their sweet dreams and wake up when people are rushing off to their work.

What prompted this change then ? When i introspect, i realise it was when i started working, my entire routine changed.I juggled between mid afternoon shifts and night shifts and so to speak, my routine also changed.Yesterday me and RT were chatting after a long time on how to manage when we have kids.The discussion went all over and finally we reached a logical conclusion that when we have kids, we will be automatically prepared.So for now i am looking forward to sharing my dinner with RT and who knows i might get lucky with coffee too !...

Its almost September and i feel that the year has just begun.Just a month away before i reach my most coveted birthday.This birthday is extremely special to me because it is my last year in 20's.The first digit will change from 2 to 3 which i dread.This change means adding responsibilities,no more carefree life,no partying with friends and most importantly living a boring life for next 20 yrs.Is it strange only for me or rest of the people who don't have the time to think about it also.Since its a year away,i push all negative thoughts and made a resolution.The next 1 year I will live the way i want to, do things I always wanted to do and most importantly care a damn for anyone else.The only person who will be important to me will be ' ME ' only.

August has been one hell of a crazy month.First had to recover from brother's wedding which literally took a toll on my health and work.Two had to travel again to the ever smouldering city called Chennai.Though it was fun to go places like Cuddalore,Karaikal etc,i cannot help but wonder ' How do people live here '.Inlaws had plans of visiting a Shani temple some where near Karaikal hence had to accompany them.At first look the place seemed pretty interesting.The french influence is very evident.It is fun to visit nondescript towns which has so much of history yet is not commercialized.Looking forward for more such trips

Last month was probably THE most hectic month ! First its my new company and was just getting adjusted to the work when i was asked to travel to Mumbai.I didn't want to go since there were 2 weddings in the house - my brother's & cousin sister's.Every single day had to finish my work in record time and reach mom's house to help in the preparations.It was so tiring and to top it - there was this impending travel.Off late i have developed a dislike towards travelling.Just want to relax and spend time doing nothing.With a heavy heart i left to Mumbai.I discovered that best time pass in any unknown city is to observe people and their lifestyles.Even in my earlier post i had raved about Mumbai.Since wedding shopping was set to happen there,i went on my own discovering the city.I travelled in local trains,eat street food and street shopped till my hearts content.Did spot couple of celebrities also - Milind Soman and a whole lot of TV artistes.What amazed me is the spirit of people ! They travel in packed train compartments for hours,stay in pigeon holed houses,battle rising costs yet live their lives to the fullest.

This week has been a roller coaster ride.Its the week before my brother's wedding and i am in Mumbai on official work.Missing all the fun back home but found time to shop here for the wedding.Mumbai never ceases to amaze me.The people - traffic -noise = chaotic mumbai.You can draw so many parallels from here.You start liking the fast life yet crave for a moment of peace.You complain of traffic and pollution and yet travel faster ( courtesy trains ).I can see people from all parts of India have come to Mumbai and made it their home.Being a south indian ,i can find fellow mates in every second person.Someone has come from Kanpur,Baroda,Chennai,Calcutta.I think that's what makes this city unique from the rest.You have to grin and bear the heat but the warmth of people makes you happy.Though i wish i can stay here for few more days,i am waiting to get back home.....

Seems like its only yesteday when i joined C.Today i am with one of India's leading media company.Things are totally different and cannot relate at all.People,Culture,environment - all different from my previous organizations.I see people coming in everyday being someone they are not.Fake smiles,Fake talks ,Fake language - in all fake everything.What makes them like this ? Do all media professionals have to swear every second word.Do they have to dress differently to stand out in a crowd ? Do they have to smoke non stop to maintain their cool image ? I dont think so.You can be perfectly normal and yet work.People almost take their jobs so seriously and want to draw up an image to fit in.I dont smoke nor drink,wear salwar kameez or jeans to work and have normal conversations with colleagues.I prefer Hindi film music to English but that does not make me any less 'hip' than these guys !.

To each their own is all i would say !

' Change is the only constant thing in the world '- I have heard this zillion times But why is so difficult to accept change !.I have always shuddered at the thought of change - be it work,friends,place anything.When i joined C,i didnt like the place nor the people.It took close to 4-5 months to get adjusted.Surprisingly after a point of time i got so used a set of people ,that every morning i was here at 10 am .People who know me will understand my sacrifice since i wake up at 9 am.It used to be fun having like minded people at work so much that it eases and lightens your day.

CODE WORD - GANG comprising V,R1,R2,B,N and S.I used to work at double speed just to wrap up early.Lunch used to start at 12 noon but not end till 2 pm.V's much awaited one liners-B's strong angry looks when he smells ghee and his 2' * 2' chapatis,R1's complaints about her co worker,R2's flirtatious glances and thoughts,N & S's love story - was a regular day at work.One secret trip changed the equations of many relationships within the group.Everyday post work,we used to secretly catch up at a nearby coffee shop.Deadly fights used to happen over Bhajjis,Rava Idly,PaniPuri and coffee.Night outs ,Attacks on one particular b***** co worker were planned till one day when it changed drastically.N moved back to her place.Others switched companies .
When i entered the office today,had the same feeling of the 1st month.Lunch was with empty chairs in conference room.I constantly look at the door hoping to see someone.A sinking feeling comes up ' Why did things have to end so soon '.What makes me happy is that i found friends whom i can share my thoughts ,laugh and enjoy life.

V - You were instrumental in pulling me out of my shell.I will never forget our till 10pm parking lot talks or 2 am phone calls.Your infectious laughter ,sense of humour kept me going at work & still does .I look forward for our regular thursday meets which is less religious and more fun.One thing which i will cherish all my life is the surpise visit by you and B on my birthday.By far it is one of the best bday's celebrated in entire 28yrs.I am really lucky to have you as my friend and wish that we stay the same for ever

B - Strong,Sensitive,Good looking Bully - - My interaction with you initially was less when compared to others but i can surely say after V,you are the only person whom i can confidently share things.We are so different in our thinking yet share similar values.What i truly appreciate is your sensibility.I will never forget your mid night visit on my bday inspite of your father being sick and rest of the days too ( from panda's house ).I fondly remember the conversations we had over our choices - from music to girls to food ....Not many know that after 8 pm in office - you would turn into a DJ/RJ.

N - Fondly known as Panda - I got to know you much earlier than the rest.You have remained the same ever since.It was fun taking you home each day and was so used to it.Hate driving home alone now ! I miss our little chat sessions on the way and especially hate going to press meets alone.I will never forget our drive on that rainy day with umbrella.Miss your pasta too... Looking forward to the road trip,next time you are in Blore.

S - What can i say about you ? I equate you with my brother on most lines and will always be protective.I will always cherish the mid nigh gyant which i gave to you.What i like in you is your generosity,sense of humour ( though i make fun of it ) and affable quality.Miss all the 2 min talks we used to have in office everyday.

R1 - A good person at heart who doesnt open up easily.We have shared good and bad times and thats what makes me have fond memories of you.Extremely easy to talk,i have learnt so many fashion tips as you may call.I wish one day you become successful in your interest area and do not waste ur inate talent.Sensible,caring AND beautiful - thats how i would describe u

Its a small world and even though we had very short association at work - i am sure our friendship will go a long way.



.

Finally i managed to get some time off from work and do what i love the most - Blogging ! .Being a journalist i hardly even get time to read my articles.Recently i came across a book written by some Indian journalist on newsroom.Fortunately i don't work for a news channel which by the way removes all elements of living but working for print medium is equally daunting.Its summer and Bangalore is reeling under 38 degrees but still i have to drive across the city to meet people.Sometimes you meet polite and sensible people ,most of the times not ! Initially i used to compare my previous work to current one and feel sad about not having perks like cabs,food,work etc.Now i have accepted this and sometimes feel nice about it.Especially when you call a trader in Vellore or Nagercoil,there is an innate sense of respect with which they address you.Sometimes i genuinely feel for their problems.It is not easy in India to trade.End of the day i feel happy doing something worthwhile..

Watching news about Dantewada.NDTV is showing a report on conditions where in a jawan spends 2 - 3 yrs of his career.Forget about livable conditions,i don't think animals can survive.No bedding,no concrete shelter,no proper food Its a Guinness wonder how these jawans are even doing their duty.Our esteemed Home Minister Mr CHIDAMBARAM retaliated saying ' This is again an act of cowardice '.My question to him is ' Did anyone ask your opinion ?'.The entire country knows that Maoists ,Terrorists are cowards and misuse poor people.We know that..This unnecessary and uncalled for comment resulted in killing 75 innocent jawans.Does he even realise his responsibility ?Just by flying in a chopper ,staying at secured locations and moving around in guarded vehicles does not make you brave.Mr Home Minister please visit atleast 2-3 homes of these slain jawans .Atleast then you will realise your gravity of every ' without understanding ' statement.

Constable Rishikesh Mallick - 42 yrs Brundabanpur village of Jajpur district has a large family of 14 to feed.But it didn't deter him from fighting with the extremists

Constable Jagneswar Nayak, 27, of Panisala village has a 1 year old daughter who will never know her father.His wife who is a young widow of 25 years has to spend 3/4 of her life alone.

Constable Ali Hassan 38 Khatola village near Shahpur in Muzaffarnagar district has 3 daughters the eldest one being just 9 years old.His wife is still under shock after 15 days of the untoward incident

wireless operator Sopan Amble 24 Wadali Wadala Chalisgaon Jalgaon,was to home on May 14th for his wedding.This young boy first lost his sister to cancer and now his life fighting for a cause which does not even make it to 2nd day headlines on TV

Assistant Commandant Bajrang Meena 32 Papurna village Rajasthan's Jhunjhunu district has a 2 1/2 half year old daughter.His wife is unconcious from the time she received news about her husband

Deputy Commandant Satyavan Singh Yadav 46 Lakhu JhunJhunu district has a large family of 5 brothers,parents ,wife and 2 sons.

http://news.in.msn.com/internalsecurity/news/article.aspx?cp-documentid=3795800&page=0

As usual i start my morning with a cup of coffee and Indian Express in my hand.In fact i am lucky to get my newspaper at 7 am !! My newspaper wala unfortunately thinks 9 am is early morning and after 7 bouts ,we have agreed to 7 am timing.I started with my cooking when i noticed a monkey climbing my neighbour's wall.For those who haven't visited my place,i can see most of my neighbourhood from my kitchen.It was amusing to see squirrels or kids playing with their dogs.Like always i will call this Monkey as Kalu because he was dark brown in colour.I was on phone when i saw Kalu doing his antics with a tree and the next moment i hear some ruffling noice behind me.

Kalu was in my house not even half a feet away.I was petrified and let out a scream.Kalu was also taken aback and didn't know how to react.He let out a snarl and both of us looked at each other.We were standing like 2 opponents in a WWF match waiting for the other person to pounce.Neither could i speak not could move a finger.Kalu made the first move by walking towards my fridge.He opened it ,took a long look at contents inside and pulled a cucumber.He shut the door,gave me a look as though to tell me ' Look i have not touched anything else ' and walked away.

I took atleast 15 minutes to come to my normal self and right at that moment my till 12 clock sleeping husband gets up and asks me ' Did you scream by any chance '.I was so mad at him that i could have smothered him with a pillow but i controlled my emotions.I went to the window and saw Kalu happily feasting on the cucumber.So many questions came to my mind -

1 ) When i had kept bananas,pomegranates outside ,How did Kalu know that there is food inside the fridge .Even if he knew,How did he know to operate the fridge

2 )How is it possible for a monkey to cross a distance of atleast 15 feet in less than a minute.

Infact my laptop was lying on the floor and Kalu made sure to jump over and not touch it out of curiosity.Immediately i called my distress buster - Mom and told her about the incident.Mom gave me her own version ' You dont light diyas regularly and don't visit temples.It was Hanuman itself who has taken Kalu's form and come.Go to temple immediately and pray for forgiveness '. I screamed back at Mom saying ' God has better things to do than come and see me in my old shirt and shorts.Instead he would have got scared '

One of my colleagues after hearing the incident asked me if i hadnt been to temple lately.It struck to me that till last year i was a regular at Hanuman Temple and used to visit it without fail every Tuesday.After moving to Bangalore,i haven't found time to visit .Maybe Mom is right but i find it hard to accept.

Its been 3 days since i saw Kalu and surprisingly no one has ever seen a monkey in my area since years ! .Maybe its a mere coincidence but sometimes we don't take animals seriously.If we keep encroaching their places,where will they go ?Of course they have to gate crash and in my case house crash...

I wait for Kalu each day with a cucumber in my hand.Don't know when will i see him again..

I am addicted to almost all reality shows which appear on TV.Since i am fluent in Hindi ,so i usually stick to hindi/english reality shows.I couldnt help but blog about the most happening show called ' Rahul Dulhaniya le jaayega ' as if i care !!! Since its inception i cant help but wonder which planet do these people belong to.The most funniest episode was when one of the contestants was asked ' Where is Nagaland ' and she replied ' South Africa '..How dumb can it get?? The reason all such shows are made coz of high TRP rates ,caused earlier by his predecessor The Ever Brashful Rakhi Sawant !!!..

I cant help but watch this madness daily.Its like my daily dose of filter coffee.Atleast its better than my mom's daily serials comprising of wicked mother in law,scheming daughter / sister in law or incompetent husband.I asked her one day ' Arent you tired of watching this crap over and over again '.She got miffed and her reply shut my mouth ' Its no different from yours.Your shows also contain girls bitching and plotting or being SUPER DUMB.. '.

My favourite is the always smiling,sometimes fake Harpreet.No doubt she is pretty but i dont understand the whole point of getting married at the age of 20 ?.What is she thinking..and that too to Rahul Mahajan.I am shocked over and over mention of how good he is,how sensible he is ,how wonderful he is.If he was so good ,which man on this will want to choose a bride on national TV.Anywys i am getting my dose of fun each day.I hope this world has more Rahul Mahajans and Rakhi Sawants...

Recently i came across a blog by name chutney case.Very refreshing i must say! So i have made up my mind to update my blog regularly.But what do i write about ? me....Naah who wants to know about me and what i do everyday.I am def not Shahrukh Khan and neither Bacchan.Since Valentine's day is near,i will write about Love.I know most of you are now overdosed with all kinds of sights- candles,gifts,ROSES !!! BUT i still want to write about love.Best example of it would me my parents.Everyone says so but when i see them together they are so entwined with each other.Not sure what that means but Dad cant live without mom and vice versa.I wish my marriage also turns out to be like theirs which is such a wishful fantasy .Given that Ram is screaming from the room - As usual he cant find his things.I wonder MEN WILL BE MEN !!.Coming back to love,i remember my first love in school when i was on the edge of teenage.Lets call him N - N used to resemble Amitabh Bacchan which was one of the criteria why i had a crush on him.I was new to school and was made to sit in the front row where as N used to sit in the last row.

He was this tall ,dark and handsome guy who always had his half shirt out of his trouser.For few days we used to stare at each other.I used to pray that i get selected for annual day programmes but God didnt want to give in to my prayers.N used to dance well.Incidently i joined the same tution class..Dropping of pencils and asking unnecessary doubts were usual.After watching a dozen of movies,i decided to talk to N ' OH MY GOD ' was my initial reaction...N birthday was the D day..I bought him a card and wrote a letter to him.The letter only had birthday wishes and a friendship request.I took extra time to look nice in my school uniform.N entered the class.I looked at him but he didnt look at me ! I decided that i will wish him after school.The bell rang at 4 pm.N was with his friend and they were walking down the road.I made up some excuse and walked behind N.After following him for 2 kms,i finally spotted him at the bus stop.' You here ' said N ' Yes wish you a very happy birthday ! I said and smiled.Handing him the card and letter i ran away from that place.'Revathi this is not right ' said my mind but i wanted to do it.

Next day i was thinking N 's response for the letter.I spotted school and was dragging my feet when all of a sudden N comes in front of me.Someone had complained to the principal about N and he thought it was me.He was very upset and said ' I dont want to talk to you '.My heart was broken..

N's friend S was standing beside him.S was always a hi - bye friend.Hearing N ,tears started rolling down my face.S came to my rescue and took N aside.I couldnt bear the humiliation and ran into the class teary eyed.S told N that it wasnt me but a girl called P in 8 C class who complained.N came into the class and just said sorry.I couldnt bring up any words.In the interval i was walking upto N when i saw him with P ( most prettiest girl in my class ).That day i felt my 1st heart break.

Till date i fondly remember that moment.Recently i met N on facebook and we greeted each other as friends.He is longer with P and frankly it did bother me a little.Today N is probably my only school friend whom i am in touch with.Strange are the ways of life !!!