Yesterday i turned 34! Phew it feels like i already lived for 70 years. The same day last year was full of surprises with R and my family throwing surprise parties and baby showers etc. Cut to the same day now, no one is remotely excited in wishing. I got plenty of texts wishing me but exactly 2 phone calls - one each from family and friend. R gave me a philosophical parody to wish for birthday and I wonder is it the same !
How soon one person goes from being important to not so important in an relationship ? It gets uglier if you face the truth in front of your family who will be quick to judge on one look. I guess i should stop looking for importance from outside and feel important from within. In any case the battle is mine till I live. Let me fight it the way I want !
Monday, October 31, 2016
Wednesday, October 05, 2016
and the trial still continues !!!
Usually there is a lot of excitement surrounding newborns. And my case was no different. The whole family was super excited to receive both the babies but the challenge was to maintain sterile atmosphere back home. How do we do that ! A whole lot of deliberation followed, suggestions given , frantic calls to relatives and their relatives were made. The babies had to fed via pallada which was super difficult. Angad was being extremely colicky and used to have immense crying spells. Since no one from my side had the knowledge of pallada, my sister in law was asked to step in and she graciously did. She and R kept me company back home with the babies and did rotational shifts along with my parents taking care of the background work.
Maybe thats what spoilt the whole show. Sometimes we need to take a strong look at ourselves before opening to another human being. The little fights started and the whole thing precipitated into a big showdown right before R had to leave for 2 months to Bucharest. I was torn between him and my parents. I wonder why is there so much of expectation only from a daughter in law where as a son or son in law is given free hand. I ponder maybe is it the lack of communication or cultural differences that has prevented me from establishing a smooth relationship with my inlaws. R seems to be doing just fine. I was so let down hearing the inlaws views about me ! So if i dont do something or dont call them, does that give them right to accuse my parents for their upbringing. Is it alright for only them to worry about the babies catching infection whereas my mother does not have the right to question it ? R has never been subjected to all this but I always thank him from bottom of my heart for standing beside me and my family even in trying situations.
The babies arrival was such a joyous occasion but silly misunderstandings like this spoilt the whole show. My facebook wall was filled with cousins uploading their babies pictures and here I was - after years of yearning for this joy, I am struggling to find a balance in my marriage. What an irony !
Maybe thats what spoilt the whole show. Sometimes we need to take a strong look at ourselves before opening to another human being. The little fights started and the whole thing precipitated into a big showdown right before R had to leave for 2 months to Bucharest. I was torn between him and my parents. I wonder why is there so much of expectation only from a daughter in law where as a son or son in law is given free hand. I ponder maybe is it the lack of communication or cultural differences that has prevented me from establishing a smooth relationship with my inlaws. R seems to be doing just fine. I was so let down hearing the inlaws views about me ! So if i dont do something or dont call them, does that give them right to accuse my parents for their upbringing. Is it alright for only them to worry about the babies catching infection whereas my mother does not have the right to question it ? R has never been subjected to all this but I always thank him from bottom of my heart for standing beside me and my family even in trying situations.
The babies arrival was such a joyous occasion but silly misunderstandings like this spoilt the whole show. My facebook wall was filled with cousins uploading their babies pictures and here I was - after years of yearning for this joy, I am struggling to find a balance in my marriage. What an irony !
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